Jokes

Teacher : History is a very interesting subject. It tells you about what had happened in the past.

Student : Please teacher,I don't think I want to study history.

Teacher : Why?

Student : There is no future in it.



Teacher : Ted,if your father has $10 and you ask him for $6, how much would your father still have?

Ted : $10.

Teacher : You don't know maths.

Ted : You don't know my father!



Mother : David, come here.

David : Yes, mum?

Mother : You really disappoint me. Your results are getting worse.

David : But I will only get my report book tomorrow.

Mother : I know that.But I am going to Hong Kong tomorrow, so I am scolding you now.



Father : Why did you fail your mathematics test?

Son : On Monday,teacher said 3+5=8

Father : So?

Son : On Tuesday,she said 4+4=8 And on Wednesday,she said 6+2=8.

If she can't make up her mind,how do I know the right answer?



A mother and son were doing dishes while the father and daughter were watching TV in the living room. Suddenly,there was a loud crash of breaking plates, then complete silence. The daughter turned to look at her father.

Daughter : It's mummy!

Father : How do you know?

Daughter : She didn't say anything.



Old lady : Doctor,I've got a pain in my left leg.

Doctor (after examining her) : It's caused by old age.

Old lady : Nonsense. My right leg is all right and it's as old as the left leg.



Two men were facing each other on the train.

First man : I know my hearing isn't that good, but I never thought this would happen. I must have gotten stone deaf. Here you have been talking to me for an hour and I can't hear a word.

Second man : I wasn't speaking. I was only chewing gum.



An English professor wrote these word's "Woman without her man is a savage" on the blackboard and directed his students to punctuate it correctly.

The men wrote "Woman, without her man,is a savage"

The woman wrote "Woman : without her, man is a savage."